There was a time when potty training felt like one more thing I was getting wrong. Jared was little. He smiled. He laughed. But he wasn’t talking yet, and I was still trying to understand how to reach him without turning every lesson into a battle. So I made up a simple song: “Pee pee in the potty…” I gave it a rhythm. I made it playful. I made it something we could do together instead of something he could fail at. And slowly, it started to click. It was never really just about potty training. It was about learning what helped my son feel safe enough to learn. For Jared, pressure was not the answer. Shame was not the answer. Being told he was “too old” or “should know better” was never going to be the answer. Connection was. That is something I have had to learn again and again as a father: our children do not always need us to come in louder, stricter, or more frustrated. Sometimes they need us to slow down and find another door into the lesson. Maybe that door is a song. Maybe it is superheroes, wrestling, a favorite video game, food, a routine, or simply knowing you are not angry at them for struggling. I used to think being a good father meant having the right answers. Now I believe it means being willing to keep learning your child.

From the Notebook

If something feels hard right now, ask yourself: What would make this feel safer, clearer, or more engaging for my child? You do not have to turn every hard moment into a perfect lesson. Just look for one small way to lower the pressure and build trust. That is not “giving in.” That is advocacy.

One Next Step

This week, choose one daily struggle and try meeting it through something your child already loves. No big speech. No perfect plan. Just one small bridge between where they are and what they are being asked to do. Walk with me. One honest note every Monday. Be the advocate, not the adversary. —Chris